RAUnlisted

7:31PM Today I rode my bike from Cambridge Heights to Bastille Days.  I like riding through the city.  Also, you don't have to fight your way up the goddamn hills, PW style.  I got a few good photos. Today was a big better than yesterday but a wave of panic hit on the way home from the city.  I can't slam it down with my fists.  I have to let it pass. Shower then sleep, I think.  I'm tired. More tomorrow.

I am trying to get through the day.  I continue to breathe.  My body continues to function.  Could I not enter suspended animation until something good happens?  I am alone.  I also sandpaper alone.  Pushed against a rough wall, face first.  I am afraid that when something good happens I will no longer be in a position to embrace it.

7/10/17 7:28PM What is today?  July 10th?  Let's go with July 10th.  Monday. I'm at the kitchen table, before the window fan, under the ceiling fan.  Whiskey is crying on the chair.  I think he wants to outside.  A few nights back, when out with S, Whiskey took a flying leap at a tree where, higher, birds taunted him.  He seemed a bit...immobile...once attached to the tree, and lest he cause himself bodily harm, we carried him inside.  He's been a bit pissed off ever since.  I can't have him getting brave out in the yard.  I love him. Today I've spent no money.  Actually, today reminded me some of when we lived on Seeley.  What did I do all day?  I read.  A lot.  That's when I read a slew of the classics, Dante, Homer, Milton, et al, purchased from Powell's (on Lincoln) mythology wall, in the second room, near the passage to the remainders.  That store is gone.  I miss it.  I wonder what's in...

7/6/17 5:40PM Sorry I skipped yesterday.  After returning from a hot, windy 10 mile bike ride, back and forth backroads-style to the Saukville library, my knees hurt like a motherfucker, and I barely left the couch.  Now, I suppose I could have written from the couch, but alas, I did not.  I can't remember much about yesterday.  This is why I should write every day. Anyway, I'm back now.  The temps are above 90.  This pisses me off.  This morning I drove down to the city with the camera.  I left 43 at King Drive, cut east on North, south on Lincoln Memorial, around downtown, back up Prospect, and parked on LM near the museum.  The month's first Thursday is MAM's free day.  You have to arrive early because the city's moms understandably converge on free day with their strollers and toddlers.  This was esp. true today since the art museum is air conditioned well enough to warrant scarves.  The kids are funny, though, for the ...

7/4/17 6:02PM N just turned off It’s Always Sunday in Philadelphia.  That show irritates me.  It’s screechy. So today’s the fourth of July, my second least-favorite holiday (New Years Day is the worst).  I don’t like parades.  Fireworks are boring.  Today’s not been bad, though, as I’ve tuned out most of the holiday static.  This morning I weeded along the fence, garden, etc.  Then I pulled out the weeds between the tiles on the “patio” and installed the fire pit.  I poured loose, rounded rock where the broken wheelchair ramp (I pulled that out today as well) stood.  By noon sweat soaked my shirt, but the space looks decent, a start.  I need the weedkiller to finish the job and a couple more broom sessions and maybe rain.  Although I’m desperately adhering to financial austerity, I dropped thirty bucks on a shade sail and the accompanying hardware through Amazon.  If I can put together a shaded space with a firepit...

7/3/17 6:46PM Hours escape.  How is it already 6:46PM? This morning I stopped at the library because they’re closed tomorrow and I could, theoretically, finish the Sedaris diaries before they reopen Wednesday morning, so I needed another book.  I accidentally called one of the younger aides “Brooke” because she looks, from behind, like Brooke.  They’re both very thin and wear dark colors.  She smiled and didn’t seem to mind.  I checked out a book of comedian road stories, the Hyperbole and a Half collection (read before), and, uh, a couple other books I can’t remember.  They’re in the car.  I also checked out the movie Underworld.  Sometimes I’m in the mood for that sort of thing.  An old woman tutored a hispanic teenager with a neck tattoo at a table near the window.  They laughed and seemed happy chatting.  An old guy with long, bristly hair sat at another table and read a newspaper. After the library I drove throu...

7-2-17 1:42PM This morning I rode my bike to the Grafton bridge and back, about 7 miles.  Maybe a half-dozen others, two walkers, four bicyclists, were on the trail.  The walkers were huge but hey, they were out walking.  One bicyclist passed me, I passed two others.  The two I passed were both in their fifties, maybe, without helmets.  They did not appear to be in a hurry or interested in breaking a sweat.   I used to ride twenty miles, easy, all the way to Cedarburg and sometimes Mequon and back.  Small steps, if any. Since then I applied to a job at a charter school in Walker’s Point.  I made German noodles, which were kind of gross, actually, maybe too old, with corn.  Whiskey and I stood on the front lawn after the rain’s first wave.  N is upstairs on his computer.  His room is clean.  I think he likes the current space.  I tried to read on the couch but mostly fucked around on my phone. Applying ...